He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
