Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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