forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize