Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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