Who wears a wallet chain?!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
