I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
