Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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