Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
