Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
