So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
