Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Less talking, more tequila
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
