im drinking this country out of the recession.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
