He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
How's work?
Spinning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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