To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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