Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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