On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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