Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
