Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
