Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
