I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
