so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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