so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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