why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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