i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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