He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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