BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
