my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
