CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
