Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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