I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
