Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
