My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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