If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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