you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
