my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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