If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
