i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
