I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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