Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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