Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
