hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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