Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
