Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
