I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i would punch a child for taco bell
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
