didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
These tits shall not be calmed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
