Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
