he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
