Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
only if we run a train.
done.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woke up backwards on a recliner
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
