yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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