remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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