Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
