She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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