I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do you still have your period?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
