Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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