So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
now i know why i became what i already was.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
