What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
