One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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