Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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