I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
