Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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