I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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